Thursday, August 14, 2014

dead to me

Trying to keep up the habit of blogging frequently turned out to be a lot harder than I expect. I wish I had a cooler excuse like "oh, I have too much fun things happening in my life I forgot to blog" rather than the loser fact that school is trying to eat away my soul.  I had actually promised myself to get rid of my bad habits and start fresh on my attitude towards school seeing how 10th grade is a crucial year and how impressive my grades were last year (I'm being sarcastic). Nothing extreme yet though, just those simple 'I WILL do my homework, and ' I will concentrate in chemistry class' goals to start me off. Well, that lasted about 3 days, because here I am, still frantically copying down the Math homework due today in discreet while the teacher is in front discussing about air pollution. Either that or trying to act all casual and interested while secretly scrolling through Instagram in my iPod. Honestly, I blame it all to my short attention span; I can't stay focused and stare at the board longer than 10 minutes because thats when whatever the teacher is saying starts to sort of tune out and when I'm on a silent battle on forcing to keep my eyelids open. I can never do my homework without a song on full blast or a TV show episode streaming in my laptop. Also, living life as a student is a heck load of struggle if you think about it. After 7 hours of absolute hell and dealing with my school's ridiculous rules, I'm straight off to tuition for another extra 2 hours of 'education' because I'm dumb. I reach home at around 7-8 pm, and after showering and having dinner, it's already 10 pm. It should have been my well deserved time to surf the internet as I please but oh wait, I can't,  because I have 2 english essays and 3 pages of math problems due tomorrow. Which means I have to use my brain think and I bloody hate thinking at night.

I could go on because if I'm passionate about anything, it would be my hatred towards the whole idea of 'school' but I don't want to seem like an ungrateful brat. For now, here are pictures of me wearing my head dress in different angles but with the same pissed off, irritated expression.

 pictures by my sister


Wednesday, July 30, 2014

pink lemon

I've always wanted a dog of my own since forever, but I've sort of expected that I won't be having flashback memories of my childhood with a puppy seeing how much my dad hates them. First, it was the fact that dogs tend to bark a lot and dad's face easily crumples into a frown if he so much heard me slam the door. What more if we have a nonstop barking creature lurking around the house at 1 am in the morning. He also seemed to have this strong 'you'll smell like a dog if you have one as a pet'' belief which never fails to bring up whenever I nag him about getting a dog of our own. So for the past years, the closest I've gotten to the solution of the  whole 'pet' issue was by begging dad to stop by pet stores in hope that these adorable innocent puppy face fuzz balls will convince him to change his mind.
It never did.

So one Sunday afternoon, my dad stopped once again at the pet store, refusing to enter as he couldn't stand the stench of 'dog' while I entered with mom. I guess I gave him quite a surprise when I walked out with a puppy in hand, nervously requesting him to take out his wallet and pay for it, bracing for him to burst out in rage. 

Everything went well, to be honest. It still felt completely surreal on the car ride home, seated in the back with the cage holding my new puppy by my side. And I might sound biased saying this but she
s literally the cutest puppy I've ever seen in the longest time, mini in size with the fluffiest coat of fur and a little brown snout that makes her look like a stupid clueless bear cub. I swear she'd blend in well in a shelf full of fuzzy stuffed animals.

So, introducing a new member of the Irwan family:
A lot of people have been questioning me regarding the strange choice of name but I don't really have a reason for it. I just really like saying the word 'lemon' and I find the yellow fruit really pretty. Also, I bet there isn't a lot of dogs with the name 'Lemon' around in this city, so thats good enough for me.

Not gonna lie, Lemon is probably the dumbest puppy I've ever interacted with (lol). God knows how hard it was to train her the basic 'sit' gesture and get her to eject her 'waste' in the proper areas even after 4 months. But its okay because she's adorable.

Yes, I made a secret instagram account for her I've had for about a week now, to bundle up all the pictures I have in my iPod into one place. 

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

every evening

This summer has been especially disappointing for me. But honestly, what did I expect? It's not like I was gonna experience the whole 'summer' concept western movies seem to portray. A sizzling hot summer that involved me spending weeks lounging by the pool, having fun bonfire nights, pump out and go wild at raves and concerts, snorkelling under turquoise waters and finally learning how to surf OR even though its HIGHLY unlikely, have a romantic summer fling with some hot surfer guy with abs and nice eyebrows I would 'run into' at the beach like those cliche movie scenes where everything is in slow-motion, who'd take me on cute disneyland dates (hey, a girl can dream though).

Instead, I had gone weeks NOT stepping out of the house, constantly moaning at my mom about how bored I was in this miserable city and spend the next 12 hours doing absolutely nothing productive in my computer. Which is why I made up my mind and decided that throughout the summer, I have to at least spend a day at the beach. Just one day, you know, to give me a bit of the 'summer' vibe I think I deserve. We did take a 5 days trip to Penang where I was supposed to soak in my day at Batu Feringgi Beach, but that didn't work out because apparently, my body decided this was the perfect time for me to fall sick. I'm not talking about a slight headache that goes away after a pill or two. No, I'm talking about being sick to the point I actually threw up at the streets, giving passerby and passing cars full view of me gagging out my morning breakfast (ew). Basically, while my family spent their 5 days filling themselves up with delicious Penang food, shop around the malls and take strolls by the ocean breeze, I was caged up alone in the hotel room, either hibernating under the covers, forced to watch the awful Upin and Ipin cartoons or taking another dreading trip to the bathroom to throw up again. Let's just say, rushing to the nearest hospital emergency room at 2 am in the morning was definitely not on top of my summer to do list.

Despite feeling like shit and looking like a walking corpse, I still managed to grab a few pictures:

My complexion isn't at its finest as you can see.

Daddy Irwan

We stayed at 3 hotels, one of them being 'Eastern and Oriental'. This has been one of my favourite hotels ever as it really gives you the feeling of being whisked back to a classic era. 

Awkward family picture of 3/4 of the Irwans

See ya x


Monday, July 21, 2014


Jesus this feels unnatural.

 I can't remember the last time the thought of me logging on into my blogger account to update a well deserved post to a bunch of strangers online has ever crossed my mind. To be quite honest, I don't even remember why I thought it was a good idea to set this blog aside seeing how it used to be a big part of my life. I mean I started blogging from 2009, flooding this blog with daily posts of my childish ignorant opinions and vivid detailed accounts of my day that nobody even cares about. This blog was a BIG deal to me, it was the stepping stone of my internet addiction yes, but still I committed heck loads of my effort to it. It was more like a personal journal of a dumb 11 year old who clearly doesn't know that some things should be kept offline  rather than a blog that's worth your time to visit. But despite that, I'm not gonna lie, this blog DID have active readers, more than you'd think a blog stuck with the address '' would attract. It's still a wonder how people managed to take me seriously when I had that ridiculous, conceited web address for 3 whole years. That itself speaks a lot on how demented I was as a 5th grader.

But now I'm back (hopefully I don't get bored and quit again) just simply because I miss the thrill of blogging. I miss how I'd dash home from school, make myself comfortable in a chair and spend the next 10 minutes furiously typing just whatever I had on my mind at that moment. Its crazy how easy words seemed to flow out of my hands and I could write just about anything and I mean ANYTHING.
 3 years ago, I would have no problem writing a wordy blog post about something as random as 'kitchen utensils' and now, I could come home from a luxurious trip to Paris and still struggle to come up with words to describe the experience.  Like now, I'm constantly stopping at mid-sentence and doing a weird finger dance at the keyboard while racking my brains on what to write. 

My point is, I just feel like this was the perfect timing for a fresh start. I have 2 weeks left of 'summer' break before I start school as a 10th grader and I've always loved the idea of having your own little customised website that you have complete control over. In my case, I've decided to make this a life journal blog, not that my life is exactly a roller coaster and worth sharing but I figured I could just toss in a few pictures to fill the gap as I already have a lot lying around my laptop. The part where I actually write stuff, thats the hard part. I've barely picked up a book the whole summer so I figured this blog could act as a training practise for my writing at the same time. At this point, I don't really care if I only have 3 people scrolling through my blog cause thats partly my fault for abandoning it for a loooooong time.  But anyway, I guess I've said nearly everything I need to say. Obviously I still need to sort out the whole layout and get rid of the ridiculous tacky header I have right now but for now, here's a picture of my cutie patootie pupsie fur ball:

Yes I have a puppy now, a mini pomeranian called Lemon.

Thursday, July 18, 2013


my tumblr